7 months. That is how long I have been silent. I can’t think of what to write, let alone function, these days.
PPD sucks. I wish I had headspace to think coherently. I don’t have the capacity to function well these days. I type this as a blue bag beseeches folding. I should attend to that. Know, dear reader, that I hope to draft works soon. However, currently, I can’t. I know writing is therapy, but I must be mindful.
I want to glorify God and encourage others. Right now, I just sense and endless pit and darkness. It would not be glorifying to God to transcribe my thoughts. I fear it would encourage wrongly. As such, sometimes the best thing we can do is go silent. Let God speak above our chatter. Be still and quiet so that his word might be magnified. Listen to the still small voice. What is God’s whisper saying as you scream in agony? What if we hushed enough that we focused on Christ more than our circumstances. As Lewis said, “pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world.”
i need to hear what he is saying through that megaphone so I need a little more time in silence. Bear with me readers and pray; oh please pray endlessly for me during this season.