Diaper Changing/Toilet Training Saga

Once you become a parent it feels as if most of your conversations revolve around bowl movements.  Its true, they are.  Release frequency is indicative of how well a child is feeding.  These things are important.  I just never realized how much I’d be mucking in this particular conversational sphere.  Come and join my conversation and hear the tales: the amusement mixed with woe.

In Western society, it is known that when you have children, you’ll have to change diapers.  What is not frequently discussed are the idiosyncrasies and craziness that can ensue, especially with toddlers in diapers.  This is a brief collection of recent happenings in the world of diaper changes and toilet use.

Recently, I tweeted that my toddler was throwing a tantrum because her sister was getting a diaper change first.  Yes, apparently, attending to the needs of your other child is a personal affront to the eldest.  This is not the only tantrum episode in diaper changes.  Tantrums happen because:

1.) She wants to be changed on the floor.  You go to change her on the floor.  You picked the WRONG SECTION of floor.

2.) She wants to be changed on the bed.

3.) The changing pad is too cold.

4.) She wants to be naked.

5.) She wants to be diapered and you are taking too long.

6.) The diaper has the wrong character.

7.) You didn’t put on diaper cream.

8.) You did put on diaper cream.

9.) She doesn’t use the potty at home, but needs to when you are 1/4 mile away from a restroom at a park (and we reside in a society where it is impolite to just find a tree).

10.) You take her to the bathroom.  You are in the stall.  She doesn’t want to use the big potty (unlike at home where she insists on using it, especially when you are using it).  You tell her there isn’t a little potty.  The toilet in the adjacent stall is acceptable.

Yes, those are just a few of the cases where crying outbursts have occurred.  There have been more.  There will be more.  While I write, seemingly annoyed, please know that I also laugh.  There is never a dull moment.  There is never a lack of entertainment.  Sometimes you wish for a slower pace, for absolute peace and quiet, for an easy diaper change or toilet use scenario.  However, you know that this mundane trudging somehow brings you greater into God’s fold.

You have to sigh and practice patience.  You have to realize that these tantrums might be a reflection of how you react in predicaments and alter your behavior.  (I say this because I know my child’s outbursts are a mirror to my own unrepentant sin and while I hate it, it is good and necessary.)  You have to laugh at the challenges and trust that God will equip you to react correctly.

It seems then:

excrement is making you more righteous.


The Corridor to Belief

The chatter resonates off of plain-painted walls.

Friends gathered, communing.

Bread broken and water sipped,

a fellowship of souls.

Normally an extrovert thrives,

Excitedly joining in the bustle of conversation.

Today, from the sidelines, an observation is made.

There appears to be seemingly endless seasons of good-byes

and illness ticking its toll on weary souls.

The six or so ticks embedded in a child’s flesh

suck her blood and in the same gulp,


Faces dripping with festered blisters,

scalps scabbed from picked pincers,

lungs rattled with fluid,

and friends’ bodies swallowing dirt

tire Christian pilgrims.

Clinging to the cross,

the only hope and promise that salty etched faces

will glow with wonder again.

Christ never promised a life without suffering,

but its hard to press in to press on.

Growing up in red, white, and blue

We’ve drank the cup of lies,

the promises of comfort if only you strive.

Some labor and find the system beaten,

and the laborer’s disposition descends embittered.

A heart calloused,

surrendered, but still feeling an empty void.

Blunt objects imprint the skin,

finally prickling in sensation

to a mind and body gone numb.

Reciting verses and singing a song

haven’t erased elusive eschatology.

Church states with faith enough

you’ll reside in lighted peace,

a joy ushering praise.

What do you do when that all seems but a dream?

When you hope one day to arise from a nightmare of disillusioned faith?

When you finally wake into authentic reality

where Christ reigns

and our palettes aren’t spooned trivialities?

*Could use editing for comprehension.  The flow is pretty good, from personal opinion.  Title could be more inviting.  An anxious mind, though fluidly expressive, sometimes does so at the expense of sense.