Decaying to the Divine

After reading a blog post by Anna at, I started praying for my pastor.

I’ve struggled a lot lately.  I don’t sit well under his authority for the time being.  At first, when I started attending the church, I would hang onto his every word.  He spoke with conviction and authority.  Then the more I attended the church, the more I became agitated at the constant berating of those in the prosperity gospel movement.  Now I understand that this movement is an incorrect interpretation of the life-saving gospel message, but I also want to love these individuals.  Aren’t there some aspects of my theology that are erroneous.  Can’t I extend some mercy to these people?  Surely I’d want the same grace bestowed upon me when I am flawed.  Yes, I want to be corrected, but I want to be loved at the same time.  If I want this, I need to love my pastor in a graceful and merciful manner too.  We are all sinners falling short of God’s glory.  I’m not better than him and vice versa.

[Which Daddy, I’m sorry I disrespected you the other day.  I was telling my boss about my interaction with you and he made some points I didn’t want to hear, but needed to.  I know I need to respect you even if I want to disregard your unwarranted advice and opinions.  I don’t need to lash out at you like a toddler, or rather an emotionally charged, hormonal pregnant lady (which I am, but doesn’t afford an excuse at the fact that mistreated you).  I know I need to do the same (i.e. treat respectfully) with my pastor in my thought life, discussions with others, and prayer life.]

Anyways, a disjointed poem came to mind:

Ashes, ashes we all fall down

Only to rise into beauty

when charcoal stained paths

are drenched with salted repentance

and ruby acceptance.

Now I grant you the throne of my heart; reign,

Make this prideful spirit into dust

and turn me to humble ascension

as you are glorified in and through this urn.


2 Replies to “Decaying to the Divine”

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