Laughter peels, little chubby hands clap thunderously, and
Excited chatter reminisces about a recent voyage.
The page turns.
A brief pause in the story line,
a respite for the thespians,
is halted with a typed message calling thoughts back to reality.
The reality of bills, work (or rather now its absence), and responsibilities weighs heavily on our characters’ shoulders.
License renewals and inspections need to take place, a job must be found—one with a decent wage and consistent hours, and removing clutter and dirt from the house all need to transpire.
The enjoyment of sun baked skin, fresh plates of seafood, and trekking across four states is now a distant memory as sustainability now occupies the wheels of their minds.
How does a family of four live off a salary of less than 50k/yr? In NJ? In the US? Without assistance from government programs like welfare? It all comes down to digits—placing numbers properly.
Math, a friend and enemy in one.
May we not love money and trust its security more than its fabricator and our Provider.
Oh trust well up in me, your well often goes depleted. I’m a wave tossed believer holding the hand of a spouse who never seems to falter. Why do I take to the kracken depths and despair? You’ve provided well enough in ages past and people make do on much less than we, with far less support surrounding.
Can I inhabit dreams a little while longer and not be rushed so quickly back to reality? Or is this occupation multiplying faith and in turn, your kingdom?
I pray my heart to keep, even when so many things ahead lie uncertain. May I in the quake of the mundane routine be steadfast, proclaiming and praising the good news. May I join in the laughter and clapping even when I’m feeling the weight of fiscal responsibility and parental duties crushing my broken spirit and contrite heart.
*I’ll post about our trip soon, giving reviews on services we partook of. It has been a hectic time. Frank had drill, my MIL’s birthday, something before my birthday (I can’t recall what it was), my birthday, a vacation, Pi day, my SIL’s birthday, St. Patrick’s day, a women’s retreat for me, Willow’s birthday, Easter, my FIL’s birthday, and my nephew’s birthday all in the same month. (March.) Since it has been a bit chaotic I haven’t written much. My mind is so full and yet so empty.