My last post was in May. Let’s just say that parenting doesn’t exactly lend itself to blogging, especially when you are working a full time job, buying a new house, and still keeping up a social life. Oh, and using any spare time you have for sleep.
Sleep…a precious commodity. I always used to say I was tired. One day, when time travel becomes accessible, I’m going to go back and slap that old self in the face and say, “You don’t have a clue as to what tired is.”
Also, I never realized how I could still function off such little sleep. Your body just adjusts. In the beginning, you dream about sleep. Then the deprivation just becomes a way of life. You adapt.
Humans are adaptable creatures. Perhaps I’ll one day adapt to life in NJ, resolve to contentment here, stop fighting God, and learn to live for his glory in the place he has put me. One positive thing about sleep deprivation is that I don’t have the will to fight God as much anymore. I’m too tired. He’s so powerful. My pride is slowly surrendered as I realize that fighting him will just result in more fatigue.
Not only do I lack energy to fight God’s will, I have taken a moment to stop, look around, and realize the beautiful life I do have.
I am not trotting the globe, evangelizing to third world countries, or curing AIDS, but I have a loyal and devoted husband with whom I’ve made the most curious, studious, and adorable little girl. I have really close friends with whom I share many laughs and tears. Here, I have life filled with rich, authentic, and real community. My life isn’t what I mapped it to be, but it is a far better life than I ever could have imagined.
I’m thankful that my sleep deprivation allows me to stop fantasizing about “what-ifs” and the “greener grasses” to concentrate on the present. My present, which from this view now, is truly a gift I should never have taken for granted or cease to appreciate in the years to come, Lord willing.