Last night we had an appointment with our midwife.
I’m adamant about wanting an un-medicated birth unless absolutely necessary. I much prefer the midwifery model of care to the medical model. I was under the impression that hospitals dictated the care. I wanted to be able to state my preferences and have my birth plan implemented.
I learned that it’ll be significantly cheaper for us to have a birth at Morristown Hospital than it will be to have a homebirth. I can still have my midwife and she’ll be my advocate. Apparently we’ll be charged 6k for a homebirth even if I have to transfer to a hospital in the event of an emergency transfer. We’ll still have to pay 6k if Tricare doesn’t cover the birth. However, if we did it through the hospital, the midwives will accept whatever Tricare gives as payment and we won’t be billed further.
I don’t have an issue with hospitals per se. I actually quite enjoy them. I’ve been in them so often that I’m not uncomfortable. I build a rapport with the staff and try to take things enthusiastically. However, I often see hospitals as something I should go to if I’m ill or in need of emergency care.
Wasn’t I designed to do this?
I’ve already been concerned about finances. It looks like Morristown will be cheaper. I perused their website and ensured that their birth philosophy aligned with mine. Apparently it is the care professionals there that determine the care and interventions, not the hospital itself. The midwives of NJ apparently have a pretty big voice at that hospital.
There are no birth centers in NJ. This should change. From the website however, it appears that Morristown is like a birth center.
If I can get the same care I would at home for cheaper at Morristown than this is perhaps the route I should go. I’m divided though. Somehow I feel like I am saying that there will be an emergency, I’m going to have to rely on interventions. I’m afraid that I’ll reach for the medicine more readily because it’s more accessible at a hospital. I’m torn.
Frank and I have a lot to discuss and pray about. Also, we don’t really have a home yet. We have an apartment and a home purchase is making me panic and I feel pressure to buy a house already since we contacted a realtor two years ago or so now and I feel like I’ve been wasting her time. We need two bedrooms eventually, why not now? I didn’t want to settle in NJ but that’s what looks like is happening.
I want to be a stay at home mom. Maybe that’s a part of why a homebirth appeals to me—it looks like I can’t stay home full time so why not bring my child into the world at home, to get a taste of an aspiration that seems unattainable. Jersey is just so dang expensive and I’ve given permission for Frank to look across the US for a job and he gets one here. I’ll be thankful for the support that we have here, but at the cost of wanting a certain lifestyle I wanted for myself and my children.
I’ve got to learn to be thankful and content. Sometimes it is easier said than done.