Crazy Busy

It has been a while since I’ve posted.

We have received 150 samples from one client at work. Until recently, it was taking roughly 16 hours for sample preparation of roughly 10-14 samples each. They arrived Oct. 10th. We’ve had instrument failures. Glasses have broken. Yet still the president was running around freaking out and mentioning that this had to get done. It doesn’t help that I’ll be away for two weeks in November. I’ve been trying to bite my tongue as I don’t do well with micro-management, especially when pregnant. It stresses me out which makes me break out in rashes, have muscle tension, and cry.

Then in my personal life I have a friend’s wedding approaching. It has been quite stressful as there is a lack of communication. Also, I’m only a bridesmaid, not the maid or matron of honor and yet me and one other bridesmaid have been tasked by the others to handle everything. We have the most money out of all of them, but we shouldn’t have to carry the brunt of the financial burden. We don’t mind undertaking a bit more, but then we shouldn’t have to do the booking and organization. Wow, as I write this I realize how prideful and resentful I’m sounding. Christianity isn’t about convenience. I’m just supposed to assist and if God has blessed me with money than that is how he’s asked me to contribute. I guess I’m just stressed about finances for my own kid and the fact that my family needs to start saving. Is it ever okay to be selfish with money, when you are still tithing weekly but not giving to charities, when you are trying to provide for your own family?

Also, I’ve done quite a bit of complaining between work, in-laws, and friend’s idiosyncrasies. This, along with monopolizing my friend’s time (which, might I add, I asked if I should go and she said no so I don’t see how I’m at fault in the disrespect of her time, but perhaps it was just other stresses for her and she’s just trying to find an excuse to blame me), has led to her dissolving our friendship for the foreseeable future. It breaks my heart. I know that I have sins I need to work on. I do well when people don’t say you are a sinner, quit sinning, but rather ask questions about what could be the deeper issues, the root of the sin. I know I made a mistake and I’m not saying I shouldn’t be held accountable for that. I do, however, like when others admit their faults too. I pray she and I are both seeking what God is teaching us through this. It is hard. Especially since we’ve been friends for around 9 years.

Yeah, I’ve been busy. I haven’t blogged, but I’ve also been more diligent in Scripture reading and work focus. I feel like I’m growing though and perhaps there is hope that I might be a decent parent.


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