Biblical Conflict

If you have an issue with someone discuss it with them. If things still aren’t working go to two or three in the church. If it still is unresolved go to the church leaders. Then if the issue continues to be unresolved wipe the dust from your feet.

What do you do when you reach out to a good friend and there is silence? Are they not returning your messages because they are occupied?


That’s a cliche word in our society. Americans always seem too busy. We are too busy with work, the gym, and electronic entertainment to deal with the complexities that are prevalent in community. I confess that I am guilty as well of claiming non-spiritual “busyness” as well. However, I often find myself talking with friends and getting rebuked then trying to pray and discern if it is an area where God wants me to grow or a friend is just being picky. Do I sound too proud in feeling like I try to work on friendships but feel a constant wedge because I’m maybe too open about my sin and others are closed books?

I’m trying to follow this biblical conflict model. I did it recently with the strain I felt between my friend and myself this past weekend. I text her. She normally responds quickly. I waited a week. Then I reached out to friends asking for prayer. One friend said that I shouldn’t discuss the issue with them and should flesh it out with this other friend. I agree. I thought that’s what I was doing. How long do we wait until the other person isn’t “busy” before we feel that it is biblically appropriate to bring the concern before others? Do we give the other person space but continue to have a heavy heart filled with concern that a friendship is fraying?

Why do I find it easier to address issues with men rather than women? Men seem to accept what is being said, in fact they are refreshed that a woman isn’t just forcing them to read their mind, and then we work out the problem. At least that is my experience with conflicts between men and women. Women hold grudges. Regrettably, myself included.

Kids are annoyingly observant. Our child will watch my every move. How am I to behave maturely and like the adult to help our kin navigate the intricate details of conflict resolution when I haven’t seemed to master it myself?


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