I haven’t been meeting my goals. It seems like whenever I start something I begin with enthusiasm, giving the goal 110% of my effort. Then as time progresses I make excuses- more time with hubby, house needs cleaning, vacationing, and illness to name a few. As I realize I haven’t achieved what I initially set out to do-a post a day-I get disheartened. Afterwards, I remember that sometimes you need to cut yourself a break. It is okay to fail. I really am sick and for the most part, I’m pretty consistent about posting. Also, it is hard to stay enthused when my readership isn’t that high. I have to remind myself that I’m doing this as a therapeutic mechanism for coping with our miscarriage about two months ago. It has been cathartic and been serving its purpose. Anyways, now that I got that “needed” rant off my mind I’ll proceed.
I went to the doctor Wednesday for my sore throat. My odd looking tongue seemed to appear fuzzier than normal. It was just my imagination I guess. It wasn’t strep. This cold is viral, not bacterial. The thing is I was hoping it would be strep because at least a course of antibiotics is administered and it goes away. A viral cold has to run its course. Why do I feel the need to run to antibiotics and pain medications whenever I’m the least bit sick? Am I a product of the American pharmaceutical industry? Probably a bit. That and I just don’t like pain or sickness. Who does? I have a really poor immune system. I pray for our future children, if and when God grants us that desire, to have Frank’s immunity. He hardly ever gets sick and unlike what most women think, this is a man who doesn’t whine or complain about being sick. When he is ill, he just lays in bed sleeping. He doesn’t utter a word and lets the sickness take its course. I’m the one who acts like it is the end of the world, that this sickness is the plague that will end me. I’m not good at being sick. That’s why I was hoping for strep because its usually an easy remedy. I’m so ridiculous that I thought this could be an offshoot of an ebola outbreak—yeah, sickness drama queen. So I don’t like being sick and confess that I’m the worst at illness because I act like it is the end of me. Although if you need to take my blood I won’t whine when you can’t find a vein because I’ve been poked so many times. I guess that’s one area where I’m a good patient. In all other areas, I secretly pray for easy-fixes.
I think we all have a tendency to do that at times…and not just in regards to illness.