An Acceptable Addiction?

Finally a short post. Not one about my height this time, but the length will be significantly decreased today.

I can’t keep my eyes open for work, let alone a post.  I’ve tried to be pretty good at writing one post a day.  It’s only been 5 days or so, but I’m maintaining it and it’s nice to see a goal being accomplished.

I’m drowning myself in the sweet nectar, well I guess bitter actually, of the caffeinated goodness that is coffee.  I do prefer a brewed cup, but work has a Keurig and right now, I will drink anything available or convenient.

One of the few plus sides of miscarrying, I can drink more caffeine now than if I was pregnant.  Is it horrendous that I’m actually thankful I can bathe my gut in this concocted solution?  Is this just another way I’m trying to show gratitude, suppress the hurt inside, and make the world think I’m my usual chipper self?  Perhaps.

Jitters aren’t normally accepted if you turn to alcohol, cocaine, or LSD.  Yet if you are hyped up on caffeine, as most of America is, no one even turns their head.  We need this substance to keep up with the busy pace we’ve grown accustomed to. As such, we think we don’t have to rest, peer into, and deal with the faults God is trying to drag out of us.

Eventually I’m going to realize that running from his grace is futile.  I need to trust him with this before I become captive to this grief. (Which you are probably thinking, as I am, wow, just do that already then and stop whining. Maybe you aren’t and I’m just too self-conscious.)   Until then I’ll guzzle (although with it’s current temperature I should sip otherwise it’d burn my throat) this delectable beverage, plaster on that toothy grin, and keep delivering metal-free (for most client’s) drugs to the pharmaceutical community. (Wow that sentence doesn’t make much sense; again, exhausted.)

Sidebar: I’m a chemist who uses Spectroscopy to detect metals in pharmaceutical and biotech products.

Alright so maybe the caffeine has flooded my bloodstream sooner than I expected.  This post isn’t as short as I initially thought it’d be.  Then again it could be that I’m a verbose individual.  (Did I really just apologize for that again?  Also these silly sidebars and parentheses I keep using are really starting to be annoying.  My bad.  I really need to stop apologizing for everything.)



One Reply to “An Acceptable Addiction?”

  1. I’m so impressed you are blogging everyday. That’s so ambitious, and you are doing a great job! My own blogging experiment has been much less successful. But I’m trying.

    This is a beautiful sentence: “As such, we think we don’t have to rest, peer into, and deal with the faults God is trying to drag out of us.”

    Don’t feel like you have to be your chipper self all the time. I mean, go for it if you’re feeling up for that, but otherwise I think it’ll take extra energy that, in my humble opinion, is not worth it. But then again, I’ve always preferred raw, blunt emotions over putting on a happy face on top of hurt. I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m judging you, I’m not! We all deal with our emotions and feelings differently, and that’s okay. Just remember to leave room to *be* how you *feel* so that others can step in and help or simply continue to see hope through pain.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s